Unconventional Reviews (part three)

Hello Berries,

Unconventional Reviews are a genre of review invented by our very own Raspberry, Beatrix. The topics of review can range from the serious and useful to the silly and unorthodox. This month, we’re travelling to the past as Cynthia deConicksmith shares their love for vinyl records and Beatrix Taylor shares her return to VHS tapes!

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An Unconventional Review About Vinyl Records

Cynthia deConicksmith

The vinyl record: Something your parents mourn to you and use to say “music was so much better back then” or something a music-fanatic friend will claim “makes music sound better.” Are either of these claims true? Should you believe either of them?

The sound of the vinyl record is unique. Before each song you hear the record itself for a fleeting moment, like it’s reminding you it’s still there and that you are not listening from a shuffled Spotify playlist. Whispering and calling out “Hello! It’s me! I have grooves that play music!” Meanwhile you are humming along and nodding to your songs while giving the record the thoughtful affirmation of “yes, yes you are a plastic disk with grooves in it for music and you sound pretty good.”

When the songs of the album play, whether they are new or old, it somehow transports you. Sometimes it takes you to the concert, sometimes to the moment you first heard the song, but always, to a moment. One that feels so real and so wonderful that it makes you remember why you love music. Why we as a human race make music. Or maybe it just reminds you that you are listening to a really good song and everyone around you needs to shut up and listen to it.

Flipping to the B-side of the vinyl can be a little nerve-racking. My father always drilled into me: don’t touch the record or else you’ll mess up the sound. So now flipping it becomes a medical operation where you have everything set up and ready, before gently pinching it at the sides with your fingers and gently flipping it back onto its spinning throne.

This same neurosurgeon skill is also required when putting the record back in its sleeve. Its tiny, thin, home that it will live in on your shelf until you are ready to play it once again. This is even scarier, because what if you miss? What if it falls onto the floor? But this won’t happen because you have done it tens of times before. Right? Perhaps the anxiety passed on from my father is showing.

However, with all that scariness set aside, the cover art on the sleeve is always breathtaking. You get to see it as it was intended, big, bold, and beautiful, able to absorb every minute detail. You can see the details you missed on the phone-sized version and you can now notice the beads of sweat on the singer's brow that you would have otherwise never even bothered to see but now, in this big form, you’re face to face with it.

And just like that, after you are done admiring it, you slip it back onto the shelf next to the other records as you pick out a new one and start the process all over again. And there it will wait for you, until you’re ready to listen to it again. 

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Returning to VHS

Beatrix Taylor

When I was a kid, around the years 2003-2008, VHS tapes were still very much a thing. My sister and I would watch our favourite movies on the little CRT TV that lived in a wooden wardrobe in our shared bedroom. Lying belly-down on the beige rug that still has a spot in my parents’ current house, we'd watch Brendan Fraser in George of the Jungle, follow The Road to El Dorado, and go to Paris with Madeline.

Last summer, I got hit with a sudden longing to experience that simplicity again. I was facing what many people face today: fatigue from the overwhelming amount of technology we're surrounded by at all times. I wanted to have a box that only played movies again, one that couldn't connect to the internet.

I found an old computer monitor for free, and I dug up my family’s old VCR. Stacking one on top of the other gave me the effect of the old CRT TV my sister and I grew up with. Luckily for me, my family still had a good number of tapes that were collecting dust in the basement. I found treasures like Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Psycho, and Terminator 2: Judgement Day (Sarah Connor, I love you).

When I first booted up my setup, it felt like being greeted by a childhood friend I hadn't thought about for years. The first film I selected to watch was The Princess Bride. The initial high-pitched whine faded, and the tape played a few seconds of black screen before starting the commercials.

After a few movies, I had already learned a lot more about VHS tapes. The first is that something about playing movies on an old screen in the corner of my bedroom makes me feel like I'm living in a cozy movie that takes place on hazy summer nights. The second is that I liked having to physically make a decision to continue watching movies by getting up and switching over tapes. This made my media consumption feel more intentional and less automatic. The third is that tapes can degrade over time and a part in the VCR called “video heads” gets clogged up with tape dust.

When this happens, the picture goes from grainy, to stuttered, to nonexistent. Sound escapes the TV, but the picture is trapped behind the screen. The night I discovered this was also the night I learned how to take apart a VCR and clean it. It was frustrating to figure out but when I pressed play and the picture came back on, I felt like the most knowledgeable nerd in a high school AV club. It was a sense of accomplishment like no other.

I like my VCR because I can try watching a bunch of movies that I find for cheap in thrift stores. I also like being able to own copies of my favourite movies, secure in knowing that they won't be taken away from me if I can't afford to pay for the eight million streaming services needed to have access to a good selection.

Making a switch to physical media can be intimidating, but it doesn't have to happen all at once. I watch tapes, but I also want to see new movies that come out. When this happens, I watch them with my friends or family. I use CDs in my car, but I stream music through Tidal on my phone. I don't choose to use old technology because it's convenient, I use it to feel more grounded and more in control of the media I consume.

If you’re thinking about trying out some forms of physical media, I'd recommend checking thrift stores and garage sales for old tech. I see so many cool pieces of tech while I'm thrifting, just waiting for someone to take them home.

And hey, if you get into tapes like I have, let me know if you find a thrifted copy of Jim Henson’s Labyrinth. I really want one.